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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23602726">this feeling don't drought</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleblacksubmarine/pseuds/littleblacksubmarine'>littleblacksubmarine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Birthday Sex, Developing Relationship, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:21:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,741</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23602726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleblacksubmarine/pseuds/littleblacksubmarine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonny quietly considers his birthday a special occasion, and Rafael is quietly determined to make it one.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this feeling don't drought</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You have no idea how you look right now," Rafael ground out, letting his hand wander up from Sonny's belly, over the thin layer of his shirt, creeping over the strong expanse of his chest, further up to stroke a small circle between Sonny's exposed collarbones. The look on his face was sleepy, eyes closed but a pleased smile at his lips. The early morning sunlight painted orange and purpled stripes through the blinds of Rafael's bedroom window and across their features.</p>
<p>Rafael was always early to rise, and Sonny the polar opposite.</p>
<p>"I look <em>tired</em>," Sonny insisted, voice coarse with sleep as confirmation. "I feel tired."</p>
<p>"You look <em>good</em>," Rafael corrected. "I'm going to let you sleep, though."</p>
<p>Sonny gave a sleepy, dismissive laugh.</p>
<p>"I can see that. This feels a lot like sleeping," he observed wryly, though it was betrayed by the shudder that ran through his body when Rafael pressed a small, slow kiss to the sensitive spot below his ears.</p>
<p>They'd been waking up curled together for a few months, off and on throughout the weeks, still feeling tentative and new and perplexed since they'd fallen into bed together seemingly by chance. Rafael still considered himself blessed without reason or justification for the way that Sonny looked at him, open and adoring even in their new…<em>whatever</em> this was - relationship? They hadn't discussed it. Perhaps it needn't be discussed at all, Rafael tried to tell himself, but knowing deep down it was borne out of cowardice.</p>
<p>"Happy birthday," Rafael murmured, holding Sonny closer and trying to will himself to fall back asleep. He knew Sonny would complain if he tried to leave the bed to busy himself with his normal morning routine, especially specifically because of the occasion. Sonny hadn't explicitly come out and said that he considered his birthday the opportunity for indulgence, but had made casual mention of his plans to do his favorite things. It went unspoken that he'd begun to count Rafael among those things.</p>
<p>"Thank you," Sonny hummed, kissing Rafael's wandering palm before pressing it to his chest. "Now, please be quiet."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Rafael pushed himself to lay restlessly for at least another hour before rolling out of Sonny's grasp to leave the bed. He'd tried his best not to want to leave, but felt himself itchy to get up for some coffee. Sonny made a soft, snuffling noise before slowly rolling over, burying his face in the pillow unceremoniously to snuggle it. It was almost enough to make Rafael want to rejoin him - almost.</p>
<p>He slid his feet into a pair of plush yet practical house shoes, toes always cold in the morning, and walked to the kitchen first. He turned on the coffee pot before adjourning to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he returned, he found Sonny in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning against the frame. The boxers he'd slept in were slung low on his hips, exposing a small sliver of bare skin.</p>
<p>Having not expected him to be standing there, Rafael startled and let out a sputtering gasp. A bemused, sleepy smirk crossed Sonny's face, and suddenly Rafael wanted to kiss the dimples off of him.</p>
<p>"Christ, you scared me." Rafael took a second to compose himself, but only required a small, fleeting one. "Look who rose from the dead early to commemorate his birthday."</p>
<p>Sonny rolled his eyes. "You say that like I wanted to just stay in bed all day."</p>
<p>"Didn't you?"</p>
<p>As Rafael tried to enter the kitchen, Sonny caught him by the wrist, stroking slowly at his pulse point. "As if it's any fun to stay in bed all day by myself," he mused thoughtfully. Rafael rolled his eyes at the heavy handed suggestion, but quietly held the promise of more close. Sonny pulled him in, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Rafael's mouth.</p>
<p>Wrinkling his nose, Rafael instead kissed him between his collarbones where he'd touched with his thumbs earlier.</p>
<p>"Go brush your teeth," he complained. "I'll fix you some coffee."</p>
<p>"Bless you." Sonny left his side, and Rafael allowed himself the luxury of watching the rippling expanse of his shoulders as he retreated to the bathroom. He busied himself with the coffee pot, listening to Sonny humming to himself as he ran the water to brush his teeth. Rafael had never been with someone who woke up in a good mood, and had certainly never been someone like that himself. Perhaps that was the benefit of sleeping in.</p>
<p>This time when Sonny entered the kitchen, Rafael had prepared himself for it - had anticipated it excitedly, really - and didn't jump out of his skin. He rummaged in the cabinet, producing two oversized mugs that matched perfectly. The mugs at Sonny's apartment never matched. He didn't mind anymore when they spent the night there. There were so many things he didn't mind anymore, even if he normally would've fussed over them.</p>
<p>They both took their coffee black, and hot, and as quickly as possible. It was a hazard of the job. There was something to be said for somewhat of a regular weekly schedule, especially now that Sonny had finally graduated to the big leagues of the courtroom. Of course, Rafael had known all along what Sonny was capable of, had hidden it under a veneer of sarcasm that he allowed few people to ever chip away at.</p>
<p>In hindsight, he was glad that he'd been able to stuff his attraction away until Sonny closed the <em>Detective Carisi</em> chapter of his life, a chapter that would've brought so many complications with it had they decided to pursue whatever <em>this</em> was at the time. Good things came to those who waited, though Rafael had rarely counted himself patient. There was a first time for everything.</p>
<p>He'd also never been one to tolerate having his space invaded, whether it was being crowded even slightly on the train, or having a love interest leave one too many toiletries at his apartment out of presumption. There was also a first time for everything - the way Sonny had started gradually filling up the bottom drawer in the bathroom and leaving his pajamas crumpled on the floor on <em>his</em> - and when had that happened? - side of the bed.</p>
<p>It was also in the way Sonny now crowded up against him, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face in his neck. He could feel Sonny's half-erection against his backside, likely residual from sleep. Rafael ignored it for now, laughing slightly but making no effort to push him away. Instead, he tipped his head back against Sonny's shoulder and enjoyed the warmth of him for a moment.</p>
<p>"What shall we do today?" he asked, trying to sound offhanded but wanting nothing more than to stay as close to Sonny as possible all day long. Perhaps it would be more of a present to himself though.</p>
<p>"I didn't think any farther ahead than this," Sonny admitted, holding him closer.</p>
<p>"I find that hard to believe, Counselor," Rafael argued. He could feel the way that the title brought a delighted shiver through Sonny's frame, knowing he hadn't quite gotten used to the idea that it fit him yet. He knew it was especially potent when it came from his lips, and as such he saved it for special occasions and allowed himself to delight in the reaction it got. "You're more of a planner than you'd let on."</p>
<p>Sonny shrugged, taking a minute to kiss the shell of Rafael's ear before reaching over his shoulder to take one of the coffee mugs. He took the first cup; Rafael supposed it was only fair. Sonny leaned against the counter as Rafael filled his own, and they stood in an amenable silence as they took their first sips.</p>
<p>"You don’t have plans with anyone else?" Rafael asked, licking a little coffee off his bottom lip. He could see the way Sonny watched.</p>
<p>It felt a necessary question to ask. For all his insecurities, Sonny was bright and gregarious - had had to be as the only boy in a loud, vibrant Italian family, at least based on what he'd heard of them. Sonny made friends easily, whether it be in the squad room or the classroom, or in bars and restaurants where he could strike up a conversation as easy as pie. Rafael admired the openness of his countenance, knowing he himself was all business and could do little more than intimidate if he weren't careful with his communication.</p>
<p>"No, what makes you ask that?"</p>
<p>Rafael shrugged. "Just thought you'd have more to do then try to figure out plans on the fly with me," he said, hating that it sounded self-depreciating coming out of his mouth.</p>
<p>Sonny regarded him with a questioning look. "Nah, this was the plan all along, as long as you're okay with that," he said easily. "Maybe we can go get something to eat. Get a drink or two." He paused, and his smile was back. "Or maybe I'll drag you back into bed, and I won't even make you pretend that you're sleeping this time."</p>
<p>"Ah, seems like you found me out." The prospect sounded the opposite of unappealing. "What was the first clue?"</p>
<p>"Call it a lucky guess," Sonny told him. "Your mind moves too much to let you fall back asleep once you wake up. It's best if I just let you go, even if it leaves me all by my lonesome in the big old bed."</p>
<p>Rafael sat the coffee mug down on the counter with the sneaking suspicion he wouldn't return to it until it had gone cold. He closed the distance between Sonny and himself, glad that Sonny mirrored his action and abandoned his own mug. He brought their mouths together, tasting the blend of coffee and toothpaste in Sonny's mouth and wondering how he could possibly stand it. He supposed letting them mix was a means to an end - getting the caffeine into his body as quickly as possible. Every public servant makes a sacrifice.</p>
<p>"When you put it that way, it's very cruel of me."</p>
<p>Sonny hummed in agreement, taking hold of Rafael's hips, gentle despite his own eagerness. He captured Rafael's mouth, allowing a pleasant smolder to begin. Suddenly, Rafael found he wanted his hands all over Sonny, and would've easily told him had Sonny not been kissing him toward a mounting breathlessness. The sun was at its full peak right now, and he leaned away for a moment to study Sonny's expression.</p>
<p>"Take me back to bed?" Sonny suggested, knowing by the look in Rafael's eyes that he could probably convince him of anything right now, and intending to take full advantage. "It's my birthday, Rafael." There was no petulance in his voice, and Rafael let his hands meander under Sonny's shirt for a moment, thumbing the coarse trail of hair on his belly.</p>
<p>"I guess it is," Rafael agreed. He kissed him again, not wanting to break away but forcing himself to do so simply for the promises ahead. "It's only fair you get what you want, I think." He resumed the kiss, now licking hotly into Sonny's mouth.</p>
<p>"Jesus," Sonny rasped out, unwilling to let himself being teased any longer and retreating into the bedroom.</p>
<p>The sunlight was gentler here because of the blinds, simply dimmed. Sonny probably could've fallen easily back asleep, had it not been for the way that Rafael returned to the bed, stretching out on his back. He crooked one finger at Sonny, gesturing for him to come back to bed and pulling him down on top of him when Sonny accepted his hand.</p>
<p>Rafael tugged him closer, pleased with his own strength as he found Sonny on top of him. He was loose limbed and still rumpled from sleep. His thighs splayed on either side of Rafael's waist, and Rafael could feel his mounting excitement pressing against Rafael's own. He sighed gladly, slipping his hand again beneath Sonny's threadbare NYPD issued t-shirt to tease the milky skin there.</p>
<p>He could tell Sonny was taking a moment to enjoy the sight of Rafael sprawled out underneath him, and allowed it for a few seconds in the interest of celebrating Sonny's birthday as he saw fit. He grew restless after a moment, pulling Sonny down by the back of his neck for a kiss. He hadn't expected this simple of a morning with Sonny - not today, or really ever - and marveled over how he'd been lucky enough to finagle it.</p>
<p>" - want you," Sonny murmured against his mouth. He smiled sheepishly. "Kinda always want you, though."</p>
<p>"It's mutual," Rafael agreed, grasping at Sonny's ass in a way that made him groan openly against Rafael's lips. Rafael took the invitation to lick at his bottom lip, prolonging the groan as he continued to grasp his ass through his underwear. The barrier was so thin it didn't nothing to separate Sonny's heat from him, and he suddenly wanted the fabric as far away as possible. "Trust me."</p>
<p>Sonny made a noise of agreement - as if he'd do anything other than trust Rafael, ever. He let out a low, pleased moan as Rafael let his fingers tiptoe downward and beneath the elastic band of Sonny's boxers to gently pinch at his backside. Sonny squirmed, leaving the evidence of his arousal even less to the imagination. He sighed contentedly, allow himself to be dragged in by his hair for a kiss.</p>
<p>"Shit," he panted when he was able to pull away in hopes of catching breath that wouldn't come. "I want to ride you." And the thought of it made Rafael growl in low agreement, already jumping ahead to the thought of Sonny, tight and wanting around him. Arousal spiked low in his belly, and he nodded, helping Sonny push his boxers down. He pulled his own cock free of his soft cotton pajamas, enjoying the way Sonny's skin felt against him.</p>
<p>"Take this off," Rafael instructed, rolling the thin, unnecessary fabric of Sonny's shirt between thumb and forefinger until Sonny's mind caught up with him. He obediently pulled the shirt off and over his head and let out a delicious moan as Rafael dragged his nails lightly down his pectoral muscle and ribs. His hips jerked, clearly sensitive. "Good boy."</p>
<p>"Can I be your good boy today?" Sonny blurted, and a shamed sense of horror washed immediately over his features. His cheeks were splashed with red - they'd never ventured into these sorts of waters before, and it was obvious to Rafael that he expected to be laughed at or regarded with disgust. Instead, Rafael smiled, taking Sonny's hand in his and kissing the inside of his wrist.</p>
<p>"I don't know - can you?" To his delight, Sonny shuddered, and Rafael could see and feel his cock twitch between their hips.</p>
<p>"I, uh, hope so," Sonny said, clearly nervous and excited.</p>
<p>"How am I going to know when you're being my good boy?" he asked, letting his fingers meander up Sonny's notched spine and then skate back down.</p>
<p>"I want to make you feel good," Sonny replied automatically, and it was abundantly clear that he meant it wholeheartedly. Rafael rewarded him by gently plucking at his nipples the way he knew would make Sonny moan and arch for him. " - want you make you feel so good." For a moment it dawned on Rafael that he ought to remind Sonny it wasn't his own birthday, but the elated look on Sonny's face made him think better of it right now.</p>
<p>"Good answer," Rafael said, maneuvering up to prop himself up against the pillows so he could better look at Sonny on top of him. "I think a good boy like you could make me feel so good."  Now that he was able to sit up slightly, it was easier for him to mouth at Sonny's nipples while squeezing the meat of his ass. Sonny took in a sharp gasp, steadying himself as best as he could against the headboard. "Touch yourself."</p>
<p>It took next to no persuasion for Sonny to comply, and his hand worked its way between their bodies so that he could stroke himself, hand only a little shaky with excitement. He swallowed heavily, the sound audible and surprisingly loud in the space of the room with only the white noise of the late Spring air conditioner. Rafael enjoyed the view of Sonny stroking himself, and arched up himself to rub his erection in Sonny's cleft.</p>
<p>"Want this?" he teased, slipping his hand around the back of Sonny's neck and pulling him in close to study the expression on his face. Sonny looked torn between rocking into his own fist and pressing back against Rafael's erection.</p>
<p>"Yes, <em>yeah</em> - " Sonny panted.</p>
<p>"Is this what good boys get?" </p>
<p>"Please." It amazed him to hear Sonny so close to coming apart already, and amazed him further still to know that it was because of him.</p>
<p>"Is it?" Rafael implored, nipping at the peaked, dusky skin of Sonny's nipple. His chest was beginning to mottle with arousal in addition to the delightful shame of something <em>dirty</em> like being Rafael's good boy. Sonny bobbed his head, caught up in his own response and unnoticing Rafael rummaging for lube and a condom in the bedside table with one hand.</p>
<p>"I - that's what good boys get, Rafael, please - " Sonny choked out. " - please, let me be a good boy for you." Rafael smiled against his chest.</p>
<p>"That's right," he praised, flicking his tongue once more over Sonny's nipple, all too aware that if he kept up those ministrations that Sonny was at risk of falling to pieces all too soon. "What else do good boys get?"</p>
<p>Sonny took notice of the small, clear bottle of lube that rested on the disheveled comforter and let out a shaky, garbled noise. "Y-your fingers," he pleaded. "I think I've been good enough to get your fingers inside of me." Rafael made a gentle noise of agreement, uncapping the bottle and letting some of the clear lube flow out onto his fingers. It was warm enough in the room that he didn't need to warm it.</p>
<p>"You have," Rafael agreed, making sure to get his fingers nice and slick to prepare Sonny. "Arch your hips for me, sweetheart." Sonny complied, trying to position himself to get what he wanted quickly. "There. I'd say you're definitely being a good boy for me." Sonny tried to respond, but his breath was wrenched forcibly from him as Rafael slid a finger inside of him without pretense. He gave a garbled cry, sagging forward but angling his body just so in hopes of pressing back against it. "Good, good," he soothed, running a hand down to the small of Sonny's back as he mouthed at his throat. "Such a good boy."</p>
<p>"Thank you," Sonny stammered.</p>
<p>Rafael hummed softly, sucking a dark bruise at the juncture of Sonny's neck and shoulder, enjoying the way he thrashed a little.</p>
<p>"Do good boys get two fingers?"</p>
<p>"<em>Yes</em>, please!" Sonny insisted, knotting a handful of fingers in the pillowcase while reaching back down to stroke his own cock. Rafael was burning up where his cock was pressed against Sonny, dying to hurry along so he could bury himself inside instead of his fingers. He took a slow breath through his nose, knowing he couldn't rush. He pressed a second finger inside, gentle but sure, and Sonny let out a breathy noise of satisfaction.</p>
<p>"They do," Rafael encouraged, crooking his fingers slightly and dragging a rattling gasp from Sonny's slackened mouth. "Good." He kissed Sonny slowly, filthily, pulling him even closer so their chests pressed together. "That's good."</p>
<p>"Please don't make me wait, Rafi, please," Sonny asked, veering dangerously close to begging already.</p>
<p>"Good boys don't make me rush," he warned, but made no move to deny him, sliding in the third finger. Sonny cried out, pushing back against them immediately in search of more, <em>more</em>, anything for more. "Good boys take what I think they deserve."</p>
<p>Sonny clearly wanted to counter, to ask for more, but instead let his free hand press down on Rafael's chest, running his fingers through the hair there, feeling the excited beating of his heart that betrayed the control he was trying to maintain. Rafael scissored his fingers gently, making Sonny's thighs tremble on either side of his lap. Sonny made a high pitched whining sound he'd never admit to later, biting down hard on his lip as if trying to keep himself from pushing his luck too much by getting mouthy.</p>
<p>"Are you ready for me, baby?" Rafael asked, too far gone to appreciate how lewd the words sounded tumbling out of his mouth. Sonny nodded vigorously, stroking a new dribble of precome down the length of himself. "Tell me."</p>
<p>It didn't require so much as a second thought. "<em>Please</em>, please fuck your good boy," Sonny blurted, voice shaking all over the place. Rafael moaned hotly in his ear, feeling the way Sonny clenched around his fingers before seeming to will his body to relax. "I'll give you whatever you want."</p>
<p>It rips something loose from Rafael, tearing it further into small, unidentifiable pieces. "I want <em>you</em>," he murmured, pressing a chaste kiss into the center of Sonny's chest, laving the thin skin over his sternum with his tongue- almost modest in comparison to the way that his fingers were buried in the tight heat of Sonny's body. "I only want you." He paused, reaching for the condom. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."</p>
<p>Sonny looked uncharacteristically nervous for the second time of the morning, pausing and clearing his throat. He was clearly trying to keep his hips from shaking or jerking, and caught Rafael's wrist before he could tear the condom open.</p>
<p>"Could we not - " He paused, clearly fumbling with just how to articulate himself best. "This morning - " he tried again. "Fuck," he huffed in frustration as Rafael crooked his fingers inside of him, trying to coerce him into spilling his thoughts. "I haven't been with anyone else since we - but, if you don't want to, I understand and -"</p>
<p>"Shh," Rafael soothed, setting the condom aside. "Me too." It was all that needed to be said, and Sonny let out a low, needy moan and trying adjust himself in preparation. "Are you ready for me now?" he repeated.</p>
<p>Sonny nodded, mouth dropped open with a soft exhale as Rafael removed his fingers and began pumping his cock, spreading more lube than necessary all over himself for Sonny's benefit.</p>
<p>"Come here, sweetheart," Rafael murmured, placing a hand on Sonny's hip so he could arrange himself. "Are you ready to take my cock?" Sonny knew he was expected to answer, but couldn't manage to make his voice work, and settled for a decisive nod. Rafael smiled, nipping at what he could reach of Sonny's throat.</p>
<p>He poised himself at Sonny's entrance, quietly thrilled at the prospect of being allowed inside the tight heat with nothing to separate them. Sonny took a deep, shuddering breath as he allowed Rafael to help him lower himself. Rafael could hear someone groan as he pressed himself inside, and he wasn't sure which of them it was, or if it even mattered right now.</p>
<p>Sonny made a low, keening, pleasured sound and tipped his head back, exposing the pale, graceful length of his neck. Rafael wanted to mark him spectacularly but held back, even though he knew Sonny would love nothing more. Nothing quite like showing up for court with a throat littered with bite marks, he thought with a dark sense of bemusement.</p>
<p>"How do you feel?" Rafael asked, sounding uncharacteristically ill-composed. He held Sonny steady by his hips, trying to force him to give himself some time to adjust. "How does my good boy feel?"</p>
<p>"So good," Sonny choked out. "So fucking full." He laughed deliriously, leaning down to kiss Rafael again. "How do I feel?"</p>
<p>Rafael couldn't hold back a possessive groan. "Good. So fucking good." He thrust upward, making Sonny jerk in a pleasured spasm. " - love fucking my good boy's tight little ass. Feels so good." He knew his mouth was running away from him, but the hot, slick heat of Sonny around his cock was too much to bear, and certainly not enough to slow him down. "Love my good fucking boy."</p>
<p>Sonny gasped, surging forward and smashing their mouths gracelessly together. Rafael could barely register what he'd said, but knew there was no way to contest it. He felt it in his marrow, knowing he wouldn't take it back if he even had a way to do so. Sonny's tongue was in his mouth, search desperately, and he whimpered softly as Rafael curled a hand around him, stroking him in time with his thrusts.</p>
<p>"I - " Sonny floundered, clearly at a loss for words. There was sweat beading on his brow, and Rafael could tell he was concentrating hard, trying not to come already. "Fuck, I'm close," he gritted out, sounding embarrassed about how far gone he was so quickly.</p>
<p>"You can come," Rafael panted, stroking him faster, fucking up harder into the warm clutch of his ass. "Want you to come all over both of us - you've been such a fucking good boy for me, <em>shit</em>, Sonny. Good boys get to come."</p>
<p>"Yes, yes, I'm going to - " He kissed Rafael hard as though trying to share breath with him when he couldn't get enough of his own. "Tried so hard to be a good boy, I - " Rafael didn't answer, merely kissed him through his orgasm as Sonny shuddered, coming with a broken, hitching cry.</p>
<p>His come felt hot enough to burn Rafael for a moment, and he moaned himself at the feel of it, smeared across his fingers and with beads sliding down his belly and chest. Sonny kissed him frantically, unable to compose himself and licking desperately into his mouth as he found himself at a loss for words. Rafael gasped into his mouth, spilling his own come deep inside of Sonny's body for the first time.</p>
<p>They kissed for several long moments, gone still and simply fighting to share breath between the two of them. Rafael ran sticky hands down the sweating plane of Sonny's back, but Sonny didn't seem to mind, shivering contentedly as he allowed Rafael to slip out of him as he softened. He didn't seem to care whatsoever that he'd been thoroughly made a mess of.</p>
<p>It was only after he'd had time to catch his breath that what Rafael had said dawned on him, and he felt unusually abashed at himself. He cleared his throat.</p>
<p>"I, um," he began, not even knowing if Sonny had registered what he said.</p>
<p>Sonny smiled sleepily against his shoulder, leaning back to regard Rafael with an expression verging on drunkenness.</p>
<p>"I hope you meant what you said," he said honestly, hopefulness readily apparent in his voice. " - because I love you too."</p>
<p>Rafael regarded him with a questioning look, almost as though disbelieving. "Really?"</p>
<p>"I was afraid you'd think I was a freak if I said it first," Sonny admitted, a small laugh escaping him, and it occurred to Rafael that Sonny was trying to play it off casually in hopes of hiding the part of him that would be crushed at a rejection. "But I do, Rafael. I love you."</p>
<p>His chest felt full, overwhelmed, and he could feel the broad split of his smile break across his face. He wiped a few loose strands of hair off of Sonny's forehead with his unsoiled hand, kissing him gently and stroking the curve of his cheek with his thumb.</p>
<p>"I love you too," he agreed. "Have you had the best birthday ever?"</p>
<p>"Considering I'm, like, less than an hour into it, it's definitely up there," Sonny teased. "If it's this good starting out, I hate to see what the rest of the day is going to be like."</p>
<p>"We'll see," Rafael mumbled. "Get you cleaned up?"</p>
<p>Sonny groaned, all energy sapped out of his body, but knowing he'd regret laying in his own mess. "Only if you put me back to bed after this," he protested, throwing one arm dramatically over his eyes. Rafael smiled fondly, kissing him with a sweetness he knew had taken a dramatic, welcome shift into something more this morning.</p>
<p>"I'll do whatever you want," he said, and he meant it.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>QUARANTINE, DAY #347: let me just ahead and write some Sonny Carisi's birthday filth with feelings. <br/>Thanks for reading! Title is taken from Kendrick Lamar - LOVE.<br/>If you are so inclined, you can find me on Twitter at @LBSubmarine.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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